Interior Design Masters: Series 6/Episode 3 ~ Luxury Retirement Apartments

INTERIOR DESIGN MASTERS: Series 6; Episode 3 ~ Luxury Retirement Apartments

To Portsmouth (or Gosport to be precise, but like many of the designers, the producers operate on a ‘near enough is good enough’ basis) and a new development of luxury retirement apartments being built in an old naval hospital.  The eight remaining designers were paired up, and each duo tasked with transforming the hall, living room/kitchen/diner, and two bedrooms from an anonymous white box into an ‘aspirational living space for those in later life’.  Rather than think about space for wheelchairs and walking frames, Head Judge Michelle Ogundehin wanted to be shown how ‘exciting retirement could be’.  Previous contestants might have taken this as permission to install a trampoline or trapeze, but this batch aren't quite as mad.

Obligatory 'before' photos

Each pair were asked to come up with an imaginary client, and Craig and Briony decided that their apartment would be designed around David and Julia, a retired couple who had loved to travel.  Briony and her ever-changing accent (still ranging from posh to cockernee and back again) managed to persuade Craig to paint the walls a neutral shade, and to add pops of colour using furniture and accessories.  Craig (mostly) went along with the plan, but got his way with the hall – where he painted all the doors bright yellow with green edging.  A risk – and one that most people wouldn’t take – but presumably he’d realised that Michelle wears yellow A LOT and therefore he might get away with it. 

Briony used panelling on the walls (panelling = luxury), added some comfy furniture, and turned the spare room into a blue paradise complete with a box for imaginary Julia’s knitting.  Craig instead spent his time turning dowelling rods into fake bamboo using an old credit card and some spray paint as he ‘had no money in the budget for real bamboo’.  Bamboo beading was just over £4 on Etsy when I checked earlier, and I’m guessing his local garden centre would have been even cheaper.  Hmmmm.

Craig teaches Alan how to make fake bamboo beading

Bradley ('I’ve never done a living room before’) and Victoria designed their apartment for imaginary Flo – a retiree who likes to drink whisky and go on cruise holidays.  Flo also presumably likes fake fireplaces and countryside murals, as that’s what Bradley chose to put on the wall of the living room.  Opinion was divided in our house over this, but I firmly came down in the I DO NOT LIKE THIS category.  Unity was restored over the colour choice for Bradley’s ceiling: we all hated his choice of bright green (which almost certainly meant that Michelle was going to love it).  Victoria was given responsibility for the master bedroom, where she also used a mural (but to much greater effect).

The countryside mural, and the green painted ceiling.  Not a fan of either.

John and Rita were paired up to come up with an apartment for ‘Lola la Blanche’, a retired lingerie designer with a toy boy 30 years her junior.  Odd that no-one came up with the more likely buyer of the apartment: a retired civil servant married to a retired head teacher?  Rita hated the tiles in the kitchen so decided to paint the walls the same colour so that they would be less noticeable, but unfortunately she chose the wrong shade of blue which made them stand out even more.  She also designed a display cabinet, upon which she mounted some home made modern wall art.  John was also planning to make several pieces of art for the walls in the living room and bedroom, but miscalculated how long it would take and only made half the paintings in his original plan.  Still….Michelle had specifically told him the previous week that she wanted him to ‘pare back to the original John’ and not to put too many pieces in his rooms so he was going to be okay, wasn’t he?

John's small sofa and Rita's big eye painting

Last week’s winner of Standout Space Holly was paired with Ayisha to make over the final apartment.  Their imaginary clients were Jack and Pearl, a retired sea captain and his (wait for it) retired mermaid wife.  Yes, mermaid.  Apparently she’d grown legs in order to spend her latter years in Portsmouth.  The concept had come from Ayisha, but both of them ran with it – using a coral wallpaper in the hall, glittery paint on the ceiling, nautical designs on the walls, and a seashell light fitting.  Holly, having not learned from last week’s not-enough-paint crisis, had a not-enough-MDF crisis regarding the making of her daybed, and also had a not-enough-time crisis when it came to putting up blinds and making storage for the spare bed.

The coral wallpaper and shell light fitting.  Michelle was not a fan.

Guest Judge this week was Sue Timney: an expert in designing for retirement living (and also quite scary looking).  Sue and Michelle were hoping to find some stimulating spaces in which those in later life could have some fun – and Michelle hoped that the imaginary clients had helped the designers to come up with ‘real, wholesome’ figures and ‘not some caricature’.  Hmmm.

Victoria and Bradley’s apartment was the first to be judged, with both Michelle and Sue not liking the vertical striped wallpaper Victoria had used in the hallway.  They did, however, love the big comfy furniture in the living room, and inexplicably also liked Bradley’s mural, badly-made pelmets, and the green ceiling.  They also liked the fireplace, although did concede that it wasn’t properly finished.  They loved Victoria’s bedroom, saying it was incredible: ‘this is what we were after’.   

Still not a fan.

Victoria's hallway

Victoria's bedroom - one of the best spaces (I thought)

John and Rita were up next, where both Michelle and Sue felt that John’s hallway was very sophisticated.  They loved Rita’s blue wall in the living room (although Michelle described the colour as ‘turquoise’, which after loving Bradley’s mural makes me wonder if she needs an eyesight check.  Criticisms were made of John’s furniture being too small and the lack of art on the walls.   Michelle used the phrase ‘perfectly nice and inoffensive’ in the same way she would describe kayaking down a sewage infested river.

The judges preferred John's horizontal stripes over Victoria's vertical version

Not enough art

My fears for Michelle’s eyesight intensified when she arrived in Craig’s very yellow hallway and didn’t flinch at all.  Instead she professed a love for the yolk yellow with green edging, and was pleased to see the yellow motif continued in the living and dining areas.  They loved the luxurious panelling, the fake bamboo, and used phrases like ‘this is a cohesive place to live in’.  First use of 'cohesive' in this episode!

Craig & Briony's bedrooms

Holly and Ayisha’s apartment was not quite so well received.  Michelle and Sue felt that they were ‘enveloped by wallpaper’ in the hall, and hated the glittery ceiling paint.  Michelle explained to Sue about the mythical mermaid client, and felt that they had crossed the line between ‘fun' and 'silly’.  Not sure Michelle really does silly.  Both judges felt that the apartment felt unfinished (it was), there was a lack of flow from one room to another, and that the crockery Holly had chosen to display in the dining area was ‘horrendous’.  They really didn’t like it.

Plategate

It was therefore no surprise that Holly and Ayisha found themselves on the Sofa of Doom when all the designers returned to face Michelle back at Design HQ.  But who would join them?  I’d have gone for Bradley, but Michelle decided that she didn’t really like Pared Back John after all, and chose him to join Holly and Ayisha in the relegation zone.  Meanwhile, Michelle’s choice of a yellow dress with a statement sleeve gave us a clue to the winners of Standout Space: Craig and Briony got the nod.

With two designers to leave the process in tonight’s show, there was only one designer to save.  Despite Holly having won last week, Michelle could not forgive the whole mermaid concept and both Holly and Ayisha were sadly let go (much to John’s relief).  Do you think Michelle was right?  Should previous performance count, or should it be purely on what is produced each week?  

What do you all think about this series so far?  It's all a bit bland for me - no real characters yet to emerge, and no real horror (or brilliant) designs so far.  I've absolutely no idea who I think will win!